No couple goes into a marriage expecting a divorce, nor do they expect a fairytale romance. While everyone experiences marital problems, some lead to a surprise letter from a legal separation and divorce attorney. So, when do the problems couples face turn into the end of a union?
It’s never as out of the blue as people tend to think. Instead, it’s a long series of unaddressed issues and behaviors that sometimes go unnoticed. These are the early warning signs that your marriage is in trouble.
The Fizzling Connection
As marriages begin to dissolve, the patience and love couples once had for one another turn into contempt and resentment. You may start avoiding one another or realize that you’re happier apart. While there’s nothing wrong with time apart and separate activities, a lack of any true bonding time isn’t healthy.
Unfair Fighting or Stopping Fighting
Couples are supposed to have conflict, it’s part of being human, but building resentment can make these fights worse. If you find yourself avoiding conflict or not feeling safe to talk about difficult topics, then the connection my be superficial. Quality couples fight to grow stronger and move forward, while failing marriages see fights become personal and painful.
Nothing sends couples running to an Orange County divorce attorney faster than poor communication. As open communication begins to fall apart, couples find meaningful talks heading out the window. Conflicts are never resolved, common goals disappear, and even daily talks fall flat.
As couples work to avoid conflict and communication breaks down, they may find themselves lying or withholding information. While the intentions may come from a good place, the result will always be negative. This is true whether the other partner finds out about a lie or if you manage to keep it secret, as it will build up within you and lead to further mental and emotional separation.
The Intimacy is Gone
From tough jobs to family, stress will inevitably find its way into the bedroom and interfere with your intimacy. Conditions like anxiety and depression can also play their part from time to time. It’s something every couple experiences, but it isn’t meant to be long-lasting.
Even when these interferences put a halt on your sex life, other forms of intimacy should still take place. That includes holding hands, hugging, snuggling, or even just smiling at one another. If there’s no intimacy at all for an extended period of time, then the relationship begins to feel more like two roommates sharing a bed than two lovers.
What Can You Do?
Sometimes, there is no saving marriage for the simple fact that it takes two. Millions of people realize that what was once a great union has simply turned into an unbeneficial situation for both people involved. However, two people who truly love each other can work on these signs and improve their marriages.
Instead of focusing and dwelling on what’s wrong, address the issue in a calm manner and express your want to make things better. Start small with simple steps, then work your way up to larger ones as things get back on track. These signs do not spell the end, they’re simply warnings that the end will come if nothing changes.